Shadow Chancellor George Osbourne was forced into the unprecedented position of praising his rival Gordon Brown's budget. He admitted in the televised response that it was as good as, and probably better than, what he would have managed himself.
"The guy is really on the ball with this one," admitted Osbourne, "It's up there with some the best budgets ever."
In presenting his tenth, and possibly last budget should he succeed Tony Blair in the next year, Gordon Brown had hoped to go out with a bang. Osbourne's volte face from fiery combattant to lickspittle fanboy with have warmed his heart.
"Not increasing fuel duty was an obvious one, I would have done that", confessed Osbourne, "but after that, there's so much stuff from way out of left field.....and it just works."
"Giving state schools £34 billion? Deadly idea. Scheme to help first time buyers onto the first rung of the housing ladder? A real brainwave. Taking away the £200 council tax bonus for pensioners? Well it's got to come from somewhere. But the coup de grace was putting off public spending changes until 2008 or 2010. Genius. Fucking genius. No way would i have thought of that one."
Osbourne went on to admit that he was sometimes a little "mean" to Brown across the dispatch box in the House of Commons, but that he was "being egged on by his mates", and apologised unreservedly.
"I was ready to attack this budget. No Lie. Here's what I was going to say: This is a budget heavy in politics but light in economics. This chancellor has over-taxed, over-spent, and over-borrowed. But that's all a load of bollocks. This is a fucking great budget and i won't have a word said against it."
Mr. Osbourne confessed that his position had upset a large number of his conservative party colleagues, but he was prepared to take the flak.
"Don't mind our lads" he stressed in the TV address, "they're just jealous that they didn't think of the stuff first."
6 comments:
murphy might be dissing ya but this had me in stitches. bout time you made me laugh again, i was losing faith
that's more like it. champion stuff.
jimmytheexploder must be going mad.he distinctly remembers a post between the chizzel on the unicycle and this budget one. wtf? well not really distinctly, cos jimmytheexploder cant actually remember the subject of the missing blog, but what do you expect, jimmytheexploder is a busy dude and cant be expected to remember every fucking thing he reads on the internet, can he???? guesswho and john murphy (if that is your real name-sounds fake), again wtf? are you two arse lickers getting paid to be zeitghost cheerleaders or what? or maybe the zeitghost just enjoys being rimmed. dirty bastard.
jimmytheexploder must be going mad.he distinctly remembers a post between the chizzel on the unicycle and this budget one. wtf? well not really distinctly, cos jimmytheexploder cant actually remember the subject of the missing blog, but what do you expect, jimmytheexploder is a busy dude and cant be expected to remember every fucking thing he reads on the internet, can he???? guesswho and john murphy (if that is your real name-sounds fake), again wtf? are you two arse lickers getting paid to be zeitghost cheerleaders or what? or maybe the zeitghost just enjoys being rimmed. dirty bastard.
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