Tuesday, January 17, 2006

Meet The Neighbours!

So, before I start settling into any sort of regular correspondence, it's only polite, I decided, to visit my fellow bloggers, and introduce myself. I mean that's what a nice neighbour does isn't it? I clicked 'next blog' a few times to see what kind of reprobates are channeling futile energies into garbled rubbish, like me. Here's who I met:

http://friendofrjsix.blogspot.com/
A really worthy, safe, PG-13 kinda place run by a bunch of Asian girls. Full of wholesome ditties like, 'Friendship..The ship that never sinks' and lots of other pseudo-"chicken soup for the twee cunt" claptrap. Not my sort of place, but nice to know that people are deluded enough to think that they live in a disneyworld snowglobe full of sugar and spice and all things nice. The newest entry has is some sort of effete 'Kids say the funniest things' motif, which is so niminy-piminy that if you were employed by Hallmark they would immediately order a body cavity search for two fairydust coated bunny rabbits using your arse as a burrow. What's going on gals? I'll tell you what's going on: war, genocide, famine, "extreme rendition", oppression, rape, murder. If you fuck off now you might just catch the end of the sales.

http://squigee.blogspot.com/
the next target for my ribald dissemination is this inept but slightly endearing attempt by some woman to keep to an 'Oprah and Mom' sanctioned diet. Each entry consists of a recipe and some cathartic absolution about how she will never go on the piss at the weekend cos she might become a dipso, or how there's this pair of skinny jeans lurking in her cupboard that she swears she can squeeze in to. I thinking she should just apply for that frankensteins-monster-meets-Head -to-toe makeover show 'The Swan' and set the job done in a few weeks. Then she can weep uncontrollably when she looks at herself in the mirror and sees an exact replica of all the other chimeras who've appeared on the show. Fuck it love, just go on Dr. Phil again.

http://updatereportbybro.blogspot.com/
Too boring for words. I'll let the guy try and explain it himself: "It is a memo of the software installed in my PC. Because it is a record for me, it is conscious that the explanation is considerably insufficient. It considers it if it comments." See? Even he doesn't have a fucking clue what it's about.

http://degrassioldskool.blogspot.com/
noo yawk hipster dollybird, self consicously kooky, who I'm guessing......reads pitchfork, makes her own clothes, wishes she could play the theremin, favourite move is something French...say jean de florette, is part of a "collective", is kinda seeing this guy, but they're really good friends and she doesn't want to ruin it, owns some DFA vinyl, met chloe sevingny once and she's so nice, wants to live in Berlin, makes this really great gazpacho, cycles a bike, likes the smell of old things, watches reruns of my so called life, is forgetful....Clap Your Hands and Say Meh.

http://antiracistlosers.blogspot.com/
oo-er, it was only a matter on time before we stumbled across some lobotomised nazi fruitcake. Well, he claims to be highlighting 'the far-left bias and PC madness that has enslaved the white man' or something - I tend to misquote liberally - but we all know that he's a seething - but impressively literate -travis bickell, preening at himself in the mirror and imagining what it would feel like to garrott that black dude that delivers his pizza. Hey mister, so your not allowed say 'nigger' but you can say 'cracker'. So your demonised for being straight, white, and conservative. What's the big deal? You guys run the world, ain't that enough?

So there you go. surprise, surprise, the neighbours are crazy.

3 comments:

Adriane said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Adriane said...

you're very clever, I'm glad you took that psychology class in high school.

Anonymous said...

Hi funnee zeitghost man!

OOOOOOOO youre a real scary ghost.

I like!

Its hard to read your white words because of the black background. Makes my eyes hurt a little.

Keep up the good bloggin'

xxx